


Nightmares Aren't Always Just Dreams

by Madquinn13



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 06:56:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3372014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madquinn13/pseuds/Madquinn13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sara opens up to Nyssa for the first time about what happened in the year she was on Ivo's boat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmares Aren't Always Just Dreams

It has been ten years since her time on the ship, four years since she moved to Starling City full time again, and she has been with Nyssa for eight years. On and off at some points but mostly on. Even Nyssa has agreed to stay in Starling, choosing to give her the only life she’s known to ensure she keeps Sara in hers.

It has been ten years but she still wakes up some nights that terrified idiot girl who ran off with her sister’s boyfriend looking for fun and avoid anything that resembled responsibility. It was always joked when she surprised her family with visit that she could manage to get herself kicked out of school, that when she went missing for four days after her prom she was found still drunk with her date, who Quentin always points was fifteen years older and was in and out of prison like it was a hotel and some ‘friends’. Sara was the screw up in the family, the lost cause, the one that was joked about being forced to live with her parents her whole life.

But that all changed with a storm.

Oliver has mentioned that he was glad that Sara never made it to the life boat, after he told her how he killed everyone to make sure Oliver survived, they both knew she would just be another used bullet if she was in that boat.

Nyssa knew everything that happened on the island, well mostly. She didn’t know the details that contained information about Ivo. It was a can of worms that Sara never wanted to open again and she was so grateful that Nyssa never pried.

Except for one night.

In all fairness it was the first time Sara was that violent after a nightmare. She usually woke up, took a few seconds to realise where she was, who was touching her, take a few deep breaths and bury her face in Nyssa’s neck and fall back asleep with her back being rubbed and being told soothing words in Arabic.

But this wasn’t one of those times.

Before she even woke, she was thrashing about screaming, Nyssa had tried to wake her but ended up getting a nasty cut just under her eye from a fingernail. She tried to pin her down, at least to stop her from hurting herself but that only made it worse.

Nyssa didn’t know what to do. She never saw Sara like this before. Thankfully she woke up shortly after she knocked her head rather hard on the headboard. When she looked up at Nyssa, all Nyssa could see was the fear in those impossibly beautiful eyes.

“Sara, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m right here. You are safe. I am never going to let anything happen to you again.” Nyssa tried to soothe her, to get the fear to leave those eyes but it didn’t. If anything it increased. Nyssa let her go and climbed off her, sitting next to her on the bed instead. Sara took this new freedom and bolted for the closest door. It just happened to be the closet. Nyssa sat down at the door of the closet. She could hear Sara crying and it broke her heart that she couldn’t make it better.

“Sara. Please let me in, I only want to help you.” Nyssa spoke into the door before growing concern when she heard the sounds of something getting knocked over. It seemed Sara was still able to find their weapons hidden behind the fake wall because she heard the loading of a gun (a weapon that Nyssa didn’t want because any imbecile could use one but Sara insisted since it could come in handy). “Sara what are you planning on doing with the gun?”

“Shooting you if you try to come in here or near me.” Sara answered, her voice was shaky and full of fake confidence.

Nyssa rolled her eyes and decided enough was enough. Sara was clearly terrified and not thinking and she was in a closet with weapons and could easily hurt herself by mistake or not. She yanked opened the door and heard the shot. Luckily, Sara’s hands were shaking too much to properly aim so luckily she only hit Nyssa’s side. “Sara I have no doubt that you’re okay right now. But you need to put the gun down.”

“Just go away!” Sara yelled holding the gun back up. “Just stay away from me!” Nyssa did back up.

“I only want to make sure you’re okay Sara.” She tried to explain using her most peaceful voice. When it was clear nothing was working Nyssa gave up. “Fine Sara. If making sure you’re okay means getting killed then I’ll do it. Go ahead and shoot me because I’m not leaving you alone. Not like this.”

Sara’s arms grew shakier and it was getting harder to hold up. She dropped the gun and ended up crying. Nyssa picked her up and carried her back to bed. Within a few minutes seemed to be okay, or well calmer, until she realised what she did and started to freak out.

“I shot you.” Sara pulled away to check the wound and see how much damage she did.

“I’m fine Sara.” Nyssa brushed her off. “What happened, you’ve never reacted that way to a nightmare before?”

“It didn’t end. Even when I was awake it wasn’t over.” Sara grabbed the pillow and hugged it close. “We should call Felicity, she can patch you up.”

“Sara, I am fine.” Nyssa looked at Sara. “It’s all fine, really. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” Nyssa tried to reach for Sara but she backed away.

“I’ll go call Felicity.” Sara all but ran out of the room and Nyssa laid back in the bed. She couldn’t stich herself due to the angle of the wound but still. She was fine. It would take more than a bullet to stop her.

When Felicity came, Sara was hiding out in one of the other rooms while Felicity stitched up Nyssa.

“I couldn’t help her.” Nyssa spoke after a few minutes of silence.

“Look at what happened to her. You did your best. You tried to save her, no one can ask any more than that.”

“She was terrified and I couldn’t help her.” Nyssa sighed staring at the ceiling fan instead of staring at the blonde next to her.

“A lot has happened to her.” Felicity explained. “I mean you’ve helped her with some of that trauma. She must have had some kind of reaction like this before.”

“Nothing that lasted since she woke up. She would be upset by it, but nothing like that. I could just calm her down and it would be fine. She’d be shaken but you could that she was telling herself that she was not there anymore. She knew she was safe. She has never attacked me before.” Nyssa explained.

“Was there anything that happened to her to create that kind of trauma? I mean I’ve heard stories about the island from Oliver, but I have no idea what happened to Sara, Oliver said she was on that ship a whole year before Oliver found out she was still alive.”

“What are you talking about? Sara never mentioned her time on the ship without Oliver.”

“Oh, okay. So I’m just going to pretend I didn’t say anything.” Felicity cut the thread and gave a weak smile to Nyssa.

“If Sara has some issues to deal with that she doesn’t feel comfortable talking to me about, can you help me convince her to talk to someone about it?”

“Of course.”

…

Felicity found Sara knees up to her chest curled up, crying and rocking behind the couch in the living room.

“I’m sorry.” Sara whimpered.

“You know it’s all fine Sara. Nyssa is all patched up, she’s more worried about you than anything.” Felicity knelt down so she was eye level with the other blonde.

“I shot her.”

“I know. But you didn’t know it was her.”

“But I did know it was her.”

“What do you mean?”

“I knew it was her. I knew it was Nyssa. I didn’t think she was someone else.”

“If you knew who she was, why did you shoot her?”

“Because I was still trapped there…”

“Trapped where Sara?”

“Ivo’s ship.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No thank you.”

“Okay, but do you think talking about it with someone will help?”

“Maybe.”

“Did this also happen to Oliver?”

“Doubt it.”

“But you don’t know?”

“No.”

“Do you want me to get him to come here so you can talk to him about it?”

“Not right now.”

“Do you need help going back to bed?”

“I’m just going to stay right here for awhile.”

“Alright sweetie.” Felicity kissed the top of Sara’s head. “I love you sweetie, you know you have a lot of people who care about you right?”

“I know.”

“Okay. Call me if you need anything okay.”

“Mhm.”

…

Felicity explained what happened to Oliver the next morning.

“She shot Nyssa?” As much as Oliver didn’t get along with the Assassin he didn’t think she should be shot, at least not by Sara.

“She had a really bad reaction to a nightmare. She said she knew it was Nyssa but she was still trapped on Ivo’s ship.”

“Ivo’s ship?” Oliver asked.

“Yeah, do you have any idea about what happened?”

“Ideas yes. Likely ideas? No clue. If I could ask her or talk to her about it I might be able to help.” Oliver explained. “When I got on Ivo’s ship, Sara had been on it for a year already. The island was a nightmare, but so was that ship.”

“What happened on it? I mean I know Sara did something with genetics and blood samples but other than that.”

“She had a choice, help Ivo torture people into giving him answers about where to find something or becoming one of the test subjects.”

“So she thought Nyssa was one of the people on Ivo’s ship that tortured people?”

“Sara was the only woman on the ship. At least when I got there.” Oliver shook his head. “Besides if she knew it was Nyssa that wouldn’t explain why she thought Nyssa was going to torture her.”

“I wish we knew how to help her.”

“Me too.” Oliver admitted. He always wondered, well hoped it never happened but it would explain Sara’s reaction. “I’m going to go talk to her. See if I can help her.”

“Alright.”

…

When Oliver knocked on the door Nyssa answered it. It was the first time he saw her looking worn out. She had bags under her eyes and looked like she was ready to kill someone or drop dead herself.

“Sara home?” Oliver asked.

“She hasn’t moved from behind the couch.” Nyssa explained opening the door for Oliver to come in. “If you can get her to come out go ahead Robin Hood.” She went back to the kitchen where she was trying to cook dinner to see if that could draw her out.

Oliver went behind the couch and sat down across from Sara.

“Felicity told me.”

“Go away.”

“Not happening. Now I have a theory about what happened, about why you shot Nyssa and how you couldn’t seem to wake up from the nightmare. It’s happened to me before.”

“Your theory or the dream.”

“Dream.” Oliver answered. “But I’ve had this theory since we were on the island.” He wanted to start off slow.

“Which is?”

“Sara, when you were found by Ivo, you were either wearing what you were pulled out of the boat wearing or even less.”

“What’s your point Ollie?” She glared down at him.

“If someone did something to you that you didn’t want…” He trailed off not sure how to phrase it.

“Just go away Ollie.”

“Never.” He sat up closer to her. “Sara it’s my fault you came with me on that boat. You changed your mind you didn’t really want to go, I all but forced you. Then when the storm hit I didn’t grab you in time.”

“Go away Oliver.”

“If anything happened to you on Ivo’s ship. You can tell me you know that right Sara?”

“Go away Oliver.”

“Fine if you don’t want to talk to me you can actually tell Nyssa.” Oliver stood up. “But you need to talk about it. So I’m going to tell Nyssa my theory.” Once he had his back to her Sara tackled him.

“I will crush your voice box and break your hands. You are not telling her anything!” Sara growled and she pinned him down.

“Not telling me what?” Nyssa asked standing over them.

“I think Sara was ra-” Oliver was cut off by a knee digging into his crotch.

“Nothing!” Sara interrupted him. Nyssa sighed.

“Fine. I really think you need to talk to someone.” Nyssa said before literally lifting Sara off of Oliver. “If it would get out to sleep in a bed again I’ll move out until you decide you’re ready to talk to anyone about this.”

“No Nys, don’t move out.” Sara wrapped her arms around Nyssa. She buried her face in Nyssa’s neck. “That’s not why I wouldn’t sleep in the bed.”

“I feel like you’re afraid of hurting me again.”

“I am.”

“Would you feel better if I hid all the weapons?”

“Yes.”

“Oliver do you need some help getting up?”

“Nope. I’m good. Just give me a minute.” He groaned.

“Sara go get ready for bed, you look exhausted.” Nyssa gently nudged her to the direction of their bedroom.

Once Sara was out of sight she leaned down to Oliver. “What happened on that boat?”

“She was tortured by a man named Dr. Anthony Ivo. He did experiments on people trying to find mirakru. He was the one who saved Sara’s life. He took her out of the ocean in underwear and a silk robe, at the most. Ship full of men, barely clad Sara…”

“I can put two and two together. Have you confirmed this?”

“No. She never mentioned it, but the first time on the island when I could actually touch her.”

“I’m ignoring what kind of touching you were doing.”

“I reached for her and she flinched.” Oliver admitted. “It was the first time she flinched…”

“But she never said anything like that?”

“No, I don’t think she wanted anyone to even suspect it. There is someone I’m still in contact with who was on the boat before Sara.”

“Call him get him here.” Nyssa ordered at him.

“Nyssa!” Sara yelled. Nyssa turned back to Oliver. “Lock up on your way out.” She headed upstairs after Sara.

…

Sara was curled up next to Nyssa.

“If I tell you what happened do you promise it won’t change anything?” Sara asked her voice never sounded that small to Nyssa since she found her on that island.

“I swear Sara. You know nothing could change what we have.” Nyssa promised rolling over so she was facing Sara.

“When I was first picked up on that boat, I was terrified.” She started. “I was literally carried off the ground by two of his goons.” She explained. “I-I”

“Sara, it’s okay, I think I know what you’re trying to say.” She pulled Sara over to her and wrapped her arms around her. “It’s fine.”

“I’m sorry I kept it from you for so long.”

“It’s okay sweetie.” Nyssa kissed her shoulder. “How long did it go on for?”

“Until I broke away with Oliver.”

“Which was?”

“Over a year.”

“What do you think trigger it?”

“I thought I saw one of the men.”

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of it. See if you can actually sleep.”

“Thanks for being so great.” Sara yawned nuzzling into Nyssa’s neck, being lulled to sleep by the hand rubbing her back.

…

Nyssa was down in the ‘arrow cave’ with Felicity.

“Can you track down the men on the ship or not?” Nyssa asked.

“Of course I can.” Felicity answered. “I take it you want me to get their current locations?”

“Of course.” Nyssa answered.

“It’ll be twenty minutes.” Felicity spun around to face her. “How’s Sara doing?”

“Better. She hasn’t injured anyone in a while.”

“That’s fantastic.”

“I can’t believe she kept it hidden for ten years.” Nyssa frowned. “I just wish she didn’t feel like she needed to keep it hidden. That this knowledge would change anything.”

“I know but she’s not doing it anymore, so that’s good.” Felicity smiled up at her. “How is finding the therapy?”

“She hates going but she acknowledges that it does help.”

The computer beeped and Felicity turned around. “Only one is not missing and presumed dead, and luck or unluckily he’s in Starling.”

“Picture and location please.” Felicity printed the stuff off and handed it to Nyssa. “If he’s in the city, Sara might have spotted him which is why she started having the nightmares.”

“Something else to discuss with her.”

“After I give her his head.” Nyssa glared down at the photo.

“If you insist on killing him, just promise he’ll be the only one you’ll kill.”

“Promise. But if I find out someone else is involved and alive, then it’s off.”

“That’s reasonable. Maybe Sara wants a piece of him?”

“Don’t worry I plan on sharing this with her.”

…

Sara was currently sitting in the over stuffed chair in front of the other over stuffed chair where the woman was sitting across from her holding a clipboard.

“Are you ready to begin Sara?” She spoke with a soft voice clearly trying to make Sara feel comfortable.

“I don’t even know where to start.” She admitted picking at a loose thread on the arm of the chair.

“Why not at the beginning? Why did you decided to go on the boat with your sister’s boyfriend?”

“I wasn’t going to. I texted Ollie and told him I wasn’t going to do it. He messaged me back pretty much begging for me to do it. I guess I thought it would serve her right.”

“What did you need to get back at her for?”

“I liked Oliver first. She knew this, but when she saw that I was at that party, she got it broken it. She called our dad and he took me home and I was grounded for a month while she started dating him.”

“How did that make you feel? Knowing that your sister started dating someone that she knew you liked?”

“Betrayed.” Sara admitted. “I mean I know I always gave her a hard time and everything but I didn’t think she’d ever do that.”

“Have you ever talked to her about this?”

“No.”

“For this week’s assignment I want you to talk to your sister about Oliver. No blaming, try not to yell. Just a discussion to see where the other was during this time. Can you do that?”

“Yeah I guess so.”

“Great. Next week maybe we can talk about the actual trauma? If you’re up to it.”

“Yeah maybe.” Sara got up giving the therapist a small smile before leaving finding Nyssa in the waiting room.

“How did it go?” Nyssa asked instantly wrapping her arm around Sara’s waist.

“I have to talk to Laurel about Oliver.”

“Good thing neither of you have feelings for him anymore.”

“It’ll make it easier but opening up old wounds is still going to hurt.” Sara leaned into Nyssa as they walk out of the waiting room and towards Nyssa’s car.

“Speaking of old wounds. How would you feel if I try to find the men from that ship?”

“They’re all dead though, Slade killed them…or Ivo did. Or Oliver, or they died when it the ship went boom.”

“I found a survivor. All I know is that he was a part of Ivo’s crew, it could have been before you though. I got Felicity to get me his location.”

“Picture?” Nyssa handed the folded up piece of paper to Sara.

“He was one of them.” She said glaring holes into the photo.

“You’re sure?”

“Positive.”

“Would you like to come for the kidnapping and initial torture?”

“No thanks I mostly need a nap.”

“Okay I’ll drop you off at home. Shall I save you a piece of him?”

“No, you can finish him yourself.”

…

Nyssa was standing in front of the very bloody man before her. She had a carrot peeler in her hand and there was already strips of skin at his feet.

“I didn’t have a choice when it came to those experiments!” The man shouted in defense misunderstanding why this was happening to him.

“I don’t care about them. What I do care about is your actions concerning a blonde.”

“She was Ivo’s! He made it clear if we wanted to live we didn’t her.”

“And yet I find that hard to believe.”

“Listen that chick was a slut. She kept begging for it.” Nyssa didn’t think it was possible for her to lose control of herself and yet when he said that she saw red. She took her blade from her side and sliced his leg off right at mid-thigh. He’s bleed out in no time and he wouldn’t have suffered enough.

She rolled her eyes at him. “You’re not allowed to die on me this soon!” She found a long wire and used it as a tourniquet to slow the bleeding long enough so she could heat a blade so she could cauterise it. “Want to change anything you just said?” She asked bringing the blade to the open wound.

…

Nyssa entered the apartment instantly feeling the weight being lifted off her shoulders. She could hear the tv being on and smiled as she entered the living room to see Sara curled up on the couch wrapped up in a blanket.

“Is he dead?” Sara asked not looking up from the screen.

“Not yet but he’s begging for it.” Nyssa sat down wrapping an arm around Sara pulling her closer.

“Can we have a date night tomorrow night?” Sara asked burying her face into Nyssa’s neck.

“Of course, what did you have in mind?”

“I’ve heard good things about Marley and Me. By that I of course mean that Felicity and Laurel keep talking about how much they love it.”’

“Then I look forward to watching it with you.” Nyssa kissed her cheek. “Thank you so much for sharing.”

“Thanks for being so understanding.”

“Only a monster wouldn’t be understanding of what happened.” Nyssa wrapped her arms tightly around Sara. “I’m sorry, he’s causing all these memories to come up.”

“Make sure his death isn’t quick.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll do anything that’s possible to make him suffer as long as possible.” Nyssa promised. “He’s already missing a leg.”

“Do to him what Wesley said he’d to the Prince in Princess Bride.” Sara grinned.

“What was that again?”

“Cut off everything but the ears so they can hear all the screams of people he passes by.”

“That sounds delightful. Whoever wrote that needs to be in the League.” Nyssa grinned picking Sara up with her as she got up herself taking her to bed.


End file.
